Paying off $5800 of debt - Was it a fluke?

Lat month (October) we paid off $5833 worth of debt, I have been wondering how much of that was a fluke or one time event.

We had big plans for October, all of which did not pan out. The biggest plan was I was taking over the bill paying. This darn near caused a war, my husband felt that I was blaming him and saying that he was not capable of managing a budget. I swear I never said that but I am pretty sure I was thinking it. We have been married well over a dozen years so I do have some ideal how he thinks and the last thing I want to do is make the situation any more tense or ugly. So I have been very careful not to lay blame and to place blame on myself. But still my husband felt the way he felt, personally I think it was /is his own gilt and I can say that here since he is not aware of this blog.

After determining that divorce is not what we want we have come to an unstable payment plan. My husband still pays the bills and I check credit card balances and the bank account on a regular bases (2x a month) to make sure we are on target. The good side of this plan is that he retains some of his manhood (I guess) and all the budget and bill pressure is not on me. The bad side of this plan is that we could pay the credit card debt off a lot faster if I did it but it would damage the relationship even more.

For last month we got paid back about $3000 on a loan we made to a family member, we gave it expecting to never be paid back so this was a great surprise. All of that went to paying off the remaining balance on the credit card we use on a regular basis. Now that card is paid in full and will be paid off each month. We also get points on the card so it is the only one we are using at this time. The other credit cards have been put up and others shredded. One was closed when the credit card company wanted to increase our interest rate not because we had done something but because the "economy was bad" From about 12% to over 20%, I declined and they closed the account. No problem , decided that credit rating hit I would take.

October was the first month that we did allowances, $150 each for the month. I would like to include more things in that allowance like hair cuts but marriage is give and take and the things that caused the major drain on the finances like eating out is included. We have bee cooking at home more, by we I mean me. This took some getting use to but is turning into a nice experience, cooking new things and trying different recipes.

We are also working on planning out our purchases. Still need a LOT of help in this area, but this is what checks and balances is for. I am hopeful at the very least if it doesn't work there will be lest debt to split up if we split up.

Update Debt Elimination - October 2009

My family and I started on the debt reduction journey about 6 weeks ago. Tonight I finally called the credit cards and got the current balances; I was suppose to do this at the start of each month but in the past it ALWAYS went bad.

1. Pull out spreadsheet of credit card balances, see last time it was updated, always a year to 14 months out of date. Verify with DH that we have been paying bills off for the past year.
2. Call the credit cards and update the spreadsheet.
3.See that the over all due balance is higher then the year before.
4. Get sick, mad and have a HUGE argument with spouse.
5. Put up the spreadsheet and be too scared and nervous to pull it out again for another year.

This time it was different.
1. Pulled out spreadsheet that was updated last month
2. Call the credit card companies
3. Yeah our overall balance is LOWER!!!


Credit Card Balance
Started September 2009 = $95,351
Current = $89,518

$95,351.53 - Credit Card Debt Total

With our credit card debt being so large I decided to concentrate on that debt alone. To be truthful by the time we pay off all the credit card debt everything else besides the mortgage will be paid off also.

I have verified all the credit card totals and the total is not $100,000 but $95,351.53. To be truthful with the numbers being so large there does not seem to be any real difference between $100,000 and $95,351 but It could have been $5,000 in the other direction so I will take if for what it is and be happy.

Moving Forward after Discovering Credit Card Debt

OK we are attempting to formulate a plan for going forward and tackling the huge amount of debt we are in. $100,000 is forefront in my mind everyday ALL day. I feel like a failure and am embarrassed to discuss or tell friends or family. I can only discuss with my husband for a few minutes at a time or he becomes defensive. I feel so lost and alone, really hope keeping this blog helps to keep me sane.

We have attempted to do a budget and I say attempted because it turns out my husbands records are basically non existent. His process was to pay the bills and then shred them, there are no records of anything that was not a set bill, no record of the credit card charges or debit card use or bank withdrawals. Of course there are records of the charges or withdrawals themselves but no records saying what the charges and withdrawals are for.

So we have been able to say what are major bills are such as mortgage, utilities, anything with a monthly bill. But we are unable to determine anything else. At this point I am very frustrated but I do think we will be able to start to dig our selves out of this $100,000 hole...

Should I just walk away? Article on dealing with debt

Here is an article by David Streitfeld it is in the New Your Times. The article is about walking away from debt and defaulting, not because you have to but because you can. I have not considered this option and don't think I want to. but I may change my mind once I get the full picture of the credit card debt damage. The article is called When Debtors Decide to Default. What do you think?

The $100,000 Credit Card Debt discovery

3 days ago my life changed or better yet 3 days ago I discovered my real reality. My family is $100,000 in debt. That's credit card debt ONLY. Not including student loans, car notes, mortgage or home improvement debt; just credit card debt.

My husband and I both work full time. We have been married 15 years and have two children. On Thursday I was home on furlough and decided to check the balances on the credit cards, just too see what kind of shape we are in. I knew we had some credit card debt but thought we had worked out a plan. My plan was to make a couple of calls and feel good about the progress we were making on paying down the debt. Imagine my shock to discover we had nearly DOUBLE the amount of debt I was expecting.

As I checked the credit card balances and it began to dawn on me how much trouble we were in I went from shock to anger to fear. When we first got married I handled all the finances, while I had nearly no credit my husband had awful credit. But after a couple of years we had cleared up his credit, built up mine and we brought our first home.

With the purchase of a home, my new job of shift work and my husbands new Accounting degree we decided it would be better if he handled the finances. Really he decided and I agreed in order to keep the peace. My way of paying bills and saving had caused SOOOO many arguments and so much bad blood. My husband felt that he was being treated as a child, a poor child at that. I figured he had an accounting degree was very good at what he did so a household budget should be no problem.

Just writing about it is upsetting, I think I will stop for now and try again later.