Cooking the Debt Away

Ok here I am once again trying to save money through the families food budget. So again no eating out, so far so good, but with getting used to the new school schedule it seems harder than before.

DH just called asking what to bring home for dinner, he knows we have cut out the eating out. Guess old habits are hard to break but I really need him to try a little harder or maybe I need to try harder to not be so frustrated with.

Dinner last night was flank steak so tonight is chicken with a tandoori sauce. Night before last was grilled jerked chicken. Trying to Kees the meals switched up so husband does not get board with having the same meat each night, hope I can keep the cooking juices flowing. Any ideals?

Debt Ups and Downs

So far this week has been good for debt ups and down, lets see the goods:

• DH has not charged anything this week (I'm impressed)
• Both cars still running
• DD decided she did not want to order team photos (really she forgot about it)
• No ordering out
• I did not give in to any labor day sales; this is usually when I get a few pieces to round out my work wardrobe for the year

Now for the bad:

• Still purchasing school supplies, cost another $44.
• DD who is learning how to drive, drove over glass with my brand new tires (today) but so far it looks ok.
• Need to write checks totaling $145 for school (this is public schools)
• Refrigerator still not working properly since Hurricane Irene and our extended warranty is up.

Guess you can only control what you can and work with the rest.

Update Debt Elimination - October 2009

My family and I started on the debt reduction journey about 6 weeks ago. Tonight I finally called the credit cards and got the current balances; I was suppose to do this at the start of each month but in the past it ALWAYS went bad.

1. Pull out spreadsheet of credit card balances, see last time it was updated, always a year to 14 months out of date. Verify with DH that we have been paying bills off for the past year.
2. Call the credit cards and update the spreadsheet.
3.See that the over all due balance is higher then the year before.
4. Get sick, mad and have a HUGE argument with spouse.
5. Put up the spreadsheet and be too scared and nervous to pull it out again for another year.

This time it was different.
1. Pulled out spreadsheet that was updated last month
2. Call the credit card companies
3. Yeah our overall balance is LOWER!!!


Credit Card Balance
Started September 2009 = $95,351
Current = $89,518

$95,351.53 - Credit Card Debt Total

With our credit card debt being so large I decided to concentrate on that debt alone. To be truthful by the time we pay off all the credit card debt everything else besides the mortgage will be paid off also.

I have verified all the credit card totals and the total is not $100,000 but $95,351.53. To be truthful with the numbers being so large there does not seem to be any real difference between $100,000 and $95,351 but It could have been $5,000 in the other direction so I will take if for what it is and be happy.

Moving Forward after Discovering Credit Card Debt

OK we are attempting to formulate a plan for going forward and tackling the huge amount of debt we are in. $100,000 is forefront in my mind everyday ALL day. I feel like a failure and am embarrassed to discuss or tell friends or family. I can only discuss with my husband for a few minutes at a time or he becomes defensive. I feel so lost and alone, really hope keeping this blog helps to keep me sane.

We have attempted to do a budget and I say attempted because it turns out my husbands records are basically non existent. His process was to pay the bills and then shred them, there are no records of anything that was not a set bill, no record of the credit card charges or debit card use or bank withdrawals. Of course there are records of the charges or withdrawals themselves but no records saying what the charges and withdrawals are for.

So we have been able to say what are major bills are such as mortgage, utilities, anything with a monthly bill. But we are unable to determine anything else. At this point I am very frustrated but I do think we will be able to start to dig our selves out of this $100,000 hole...

Should I just walk away? Article on dealing with debt

Here is an article by David Streitfeld it is in the New Your Times. The article is about walking away from debt and defaulting, not because you have to but because you can. I have not considered this option and don't think I want to. but I may change my mind once I get the full picture of the credit card debt damage. The article is called When Debtors Decide to Default. What do you think?

How the Credit Card Debt Happaned

Lately my husband and I have been having problems. Typically he is very calm and even keel, but for the past few months he has been short tempered and a bit mean at times. After making the $100,000 debt discovery and talking it out with him, turns out he realized we were in trouble and did not know how to tell me or how to fix it.

Seems like dear husband was working on paying off the debt seriously (without telling me) for the past year. I thought we had been working on paying it off for years and were nearly done. A year ago our daycare bill went down substantially, freeing up a couple of hundred bucks which my husband started applying to paying off credit cards, and a couple of small ones did get paid off. One still has a $0 balance but the other is worse then ever with a $15,000 balance. Then the downturn in the economy hit us and we found our selves short $1000 a month. This is when the debt started growing instead of shrinking. We did adjust our spending, but not nearly enough. I assumed we were in a good spot financially and my husband did not want to tell me other wise. Seems he did not want to appear as a failure or change the family (or his) lifestyle.

I must accept my part in this HUGE mess. I should have insisted on seeing the bills, I was never kept from the bills but I knew that it would cause issues so I did not look. All I had to do was open the credit card statements and I would have see the problem before it became larger then a Boeing 747. Wish I had, I thought the worst that was going on were the debts being paid off slower then I would want. NEVER thought the debt was GROWING.

Here is how I think we got into this $100,000 debt mess, roughly. We moved to a new state a few years ago and got in about $30,000 debt then, from over spending, home repairs and moving expenses. Then we had a difficult pregnancy and after insurance there was a $20,000 bill which was placed on credit cards. The other 45 - 50,000 seems to have been racked up from the next two moves and living above our means. I just didn't realize it was above our means since I had buried my head in the sand about the debt.

Next...Moving Forward....

The $100,000 Credit Card Debt discovery

3 days ago my life changed or better yet 3 days ago I discovered my real reality. My family is $100,000 in debt. That's credit card debt ONLY. Not including student loans, car notes, mortgage or home improvement debt; just credit card debt.

My husband and I both work full time. We have been married 15 years and have two children. On Thursday I was home on furlough and decided to check the balances on the credit cards, just too see what kind of shape we are in. I knew we had some credit card debt but thought we had worked out a plan. My plan was to make a couple of calls and feel good about the progress we were making on paying down the debt. Imagine my shock to discover we had nearly DOUBLE the amount of debt I was expecting.

As I checked the credit card balances and it began to dawn on me how much trouble we were in I went from shock to anger to fear. When we first got married I handled all the finances, while I had nearly no credit my husband had awful credit. But after a couple of years we had cleared up his credit, built up mine and we brought our first home.

With the purchase of a home, my new job of shift work and my husbands new Accounting degree we decided it would be better if he handled the finances. Really he decided and I agreed in order to keep the peace. My way of paying bills and saving had caused SOOOO many arguments and so much bad blood. My husband felt that he was being treated as a child, a poor child at that. I figured he had an accounting degree was very good at what he did so a household budget should be no problem.

Just writing about it is upsetting, I think I will stop for now and try again later.